Germany...if this is the Motherland, I want to be orphaned

Well...it is certainly nice to be back in the good 'ol US of A after 4 weeks in Germany. Before I left, people were telling me how GREAT Germany was and how much I would love it!  After a month in that overcast icebox of a country, I call bullshit.  Honestly, the place was rarely above freezing and I swear, I saw the sun 3 times in 28 days.  I can see why Hitler wanted to take over the world, to get the hell out of that shithole.
The city I was in was called Landstuhl and it was like I was back in Groveland again.  I mean it was the sticks.  I should have known.  A german lady on the plane over there ask me where I was staying.  I told her Landstuhl and she never heard of it....bad sign.  Landstuhl is about an hour from Frankfurt, so you have to take a shuttle.  So I was riding with the driver and he was going on and on about all the fun stuff to do in his country after he found out it was my first time there.  Number 1 on his list....walking in the woods.  I shit you not.  Boy, how the mighty have fallen.
Another thing is the German language itself.  Two German business men could be having a nice conversation about their families but it sounds like 2 wild boars fighting over the last piece of meat from their kill.  Lots of snorting, growling, and throat clearing.  Not exactly a romance language unless you are trying to attract the hottest local swine.
So, a few good things about that place.
1.  Good beer- some of the best beer I ever had at a decent price.  The best was at the Belgium airforce support unit at Ramstein airforce base.  Got to admit, didnt know Belgium had an airforce, didn't know they needed support, but for good Belgium beer for $1 a glass, lets just say I probably bought them a new airplane for the force.
2. Good food- Schnitzel is a fried piece of pork with some type of topping.   When I say some type, I mean these guys put just about anything on top of this pig.  Brown gravy, white gravy, cheese, and yes spaghetti.  I'm sure the spaghetti was a left over from their alliance with Italy during WWII.  I mean you have 2 of the Axis powers right there on your dinner plate.  If you could get a side of sushi to go with it, we might have a dinner that will live in infamy.
Anyway, good to be back home with Chrissy, Sera, and BBQ.  God bless America.